Lessons Learned From a Layoff

Dear Boss,

I can’t express the depths of my gratitude for laying my husband off.  Really.  I know, you’re thinking this letter must be laced with Anthrax.  Relax.  I’d like to buy you a beer.

Because we were forced by you to cut back and pinch pennies, we have learned what’s really important.  Gone are the movie channels and the bottled water.  We bid adieu to the housekeeper, the dry-cleaner who delivers and hot lunches at school.  And surprisingly, we don’t miss them a bit.

Christmas was quaint, but the kids said they didn’t notice.  The oldest boy used his winnings from a $1 Superbowl bet to buy his own shoes.  Middle guy cooked dinner when I was too busy at my new job. Even the baby offered up her Valentine’s cash from grandma for the family ante.

You may feel guilty about the layoff, but we are grateful.  Eating hamburger for six months has helped us to savor the occasional filet.  The house is a mess, but it’s a happy home.  Our marriage is stronger than ever, because teamwork and support are no longer optional.  Our often over-indulged brood has learned how the other half lives, and they’ve discovered it’s not half bad.

Boss, thanks for nothing.  We used to believe that anything was better than nothing.  Now we know it also works the other way around.

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